You damn fool, migraine - sneaking into my beautiful Thursday morning and snatching precious vocabulary out of my brain! How dare you! That’s right - I know you’re there, I feel you coming. And more than that, my drastically-reduced mastery of the English language speaks of your imminent arrival! Be gone, you worthless bastard!

Look, you were just here on Monday - and in a BAD way, you struck me like you haven’t struck me in ages, forcing me to call my husband in tears, begging him to come home, because, it hurt so badly. Don’t you think you’ve done enough?! ….for at least a week or so?!

It’s a beautiful day, I’m starting the day showered AND dressed (oh, rareness!), my son gets to go to the Renaissance Faire, ALL three kids went to school (faire) in a GOOD mood (oh RARENESS of rareness!). I’m starting the day off happy and motivated - you should seriously leave now. You’re not welcome on days like today.

I know that my glands are still terribly sore and tender, and you view any neck or shoulder pain as a gold-embossed bloody invitation - but….

YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE TODAY! GET THE F*** OUT!

GO! GO NOW! BE GONE, MIGRAINE!

My neck has been hurting pretty badly lately as a result of that ear infection that I couldn’t afford to treat. Totally and completely weird that the pain is in my neck - I’ve never had that happen before with an ear infection, that I can remember. I’m told it’s caused by a buildup of fluid from the infection in my Eustachian tubes. My mother-in-law had told me to put heat on it, but, I didn’t know how in the heck to do that. I didn’t want to put Freeze It on my neck - I was afraid that would be uncomfortable. And my heating pad - how the hell do I get it to stick to the side of my neck?

Well, yesterday I woke up in way more pain, and I did some researching on the internet about ear infections. And what did I find? “Put heat on it.” Gah - don’t you hate it when MIL’s are right about stuff? ugh. So I piled all my notebooks and my notebook in bed with me and I just stuck that heating pad on my neck, haphazard and all. It was awkward, and it was really only in direct contact with my neck when I was hanging onto it in some way - like I’d kinda pull gently on the electrical cord. When I was watching TV later, right before going to sleep last night, I was able to just sit there with it on my neck constantly. And then when we turned off the TV (Hulu on the) computer, I switched the heating pad to ‘off’ and let the heat wear out on my neck, while I dozed off to sleep.

And I woke up this morning in considerably less pain. It was really great to be relieved of that - it’s been hurting so long. It’s starting to come back now, too, after a day without heat - I’ve been working at my desk today. So I’ll need to skedaddle on in there in a minute, but, I wanted to share with you my oh-so-lovely thought processes first. Aren’t you lucky?
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I’m sick. I’ve been sick going on one hundred years now. Ok, not really - but, it is beginning to feel like it. It’s really been about three or four weeks. I finally got to go to the doctor and I got some medicine prescribed to me for a sinus infection and double ear infection. She prescribed an evil double-antihistamine, oral antibiotics, and antibiotic ear drops. Worried that was too much medicine, I thought we could just go with the oral antibiotics and decided to wait and see how it went. That evening, I spoke to my super-mega sweet sister-in-law, my mother, Mark’s mother and grandmother, and they all seemed to think that was not overdoing the meds.

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Dude! My freaking medicine made me so sick yesterday! Ugh! I can’t win for losing around here! So I went to the doctor and found out I had a sinus infection and double ear infection, right? Ok, so she wanted to give me two antibiotics, one oral and one eardrops, and also this super-duper-mega-canon-powered antihistamine. I opted to not get the eardrops, although I’ve since changed my mind on that and have had them called in. I started the other two on Wednesday night. I woke up Thursday pretty darn foggy and icky-feeling. I got the kids off to school and got all my meds in me.

As the day wore on, I not only got extremely foggy/sleepy/exhausted - as most antihistamines do that to a person, but, I also began to feel more sick! More sick?! What?! Yep - my throat was killing me and the pain in my neck - you know the one - from my ear? It was worse, and was joined by pain on the other side of my neck! And then my throat started swelling. It actually became slightly difficult to talk, because, ::GROSSNESS ALERT:: pieces of my throat were getting in the way! Flaps of my throat… ewww! I didn’t have any trouble breathing - yet, I suppose. Eeks!

I called the doc’s and the nurse said I just had a bad reaction and not to take it anymore. I can understand the extreme exhaustion, and I can even understand the swelling throat - that’s a common reaction to things your body doesn’t like. The part that baffles me is how it made my throat more sore and how it made my neck more sore. Weird. I felt so sick yesterday - it was odd - that it was my first full day on meds and I felt so awful.

Oh well - no more Nohist for me. It should be easy to remember - it’s just a double antihistamine - and it’s got a short, little name.

I feel like I’m starting over on getting better. One day, one fine day, I’ll be over this mess. Ugh.

That’s right, folks! That’s what my brother’s getting. Man, he always gets all the cool stuff! I guess, though, I should really be jealous of his wife. I mean, really, take an old married man (meaning:married for some number of years) and jazz him up on Valentines Day with extra heartbeats - heck! It’ll be like they just fell in love again!

Ok, serious, my brother has a heart that just ain’t acting quite right these days. They did some testing on him at home, decided he needed to come in for inpatient testing, and decided my super-young, was-just-a-teenager-the-other-day-I-swear brother needed a ….
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There was just way too much of it in my house last night! Way too much! See, I lost my Sammie girl to her friend, Brianna’s house - for a sleepover. And then the boys had their cousin, David, over to spend the night with us. And then Mark brought home his brother, Eric, and he was spending the night, too.

The testosterone over-abundance didn’t really hit me until Mark called us all to dinner. I walked in that room, and I was like, “Oh my gawd! There’s too much testosterone in here - even the damn dog!” They all laughed at me. I just had a little moment of panic as I walked in the room and realized how completely outnumbered my poor, little self was!

I’ve been wondering, lately, if it’s almost time for me to supplement my estrogen supply, since I have had a hysterectomy and I am approaching *eeeks* my forties. (Did I just say that?!)

Well, see, though - had I already started with a progesterone supplement, I could’ve been uber sneaky last night and rubbed a little on each of those domineering men-type folks in my house last night and evened the score a little! Ha!

There is a new triple cocktail of pharmaceuticals that doctors are giving to alcoholics and drug addicts to sober them up for good. Huh. I’m pretty much totally not convinced. There is an article, however, about a man who was in and out of drug rehab and just was not getting off of the meth and ‘doing his life’. He goes in for these drugs and now he’s living life on life’s terms, he says. There are three drugs in the cocktail, and the addicts go in for three days in a row to get them administered. One doctor even said that the patients come in agitated and irritable, and get up twenty minutes later just feeling great. I must remain skeptical about this one.

I love to read any and all information that I can about migraines. Even if this particular type doesn’t affect me, I still like to keep abreast of all the latest information on all kinds of migraines.

It’s 11pm and I can hear a kid up who can’t sleep for coughing! Nooo! We can’t have any more sickness in this house! Well, Sammie has sick days available, but, the boys sure don’t! And it is Patrick that is coughing!

Our little mini-district has a five-absence-per-semester rule - after that the children need doctor’s notes in order for their absences to be excused. And if your absence is unexcused, your grades for that day’s work? Zeros! Ack! Zeros? That’s terrible.

A lot of times kids get sick and it doesn’t warrant a trip to the doctor. This is a hard rule to follow.

We just had our town Christmas parade, and Patrick and the school band were in it - so hopefully he just got chilled and his allergies are acting up. He doesn’t usually catch the infections that are going around, and if he’s just ’sort of’ sick, I’m not taking him to the doctor - just to ‘buy’ an excused absence! That’s $50 for an excuse note!

No more coughing, kid! And most definitely, for sure - no

This is just really strange. We all have to get checked out like common criminals just to get our cold medicines, because, amateur chemists like to do funny things with them. But the funny thing is that they (the amateur chemists) turn them into uppers. But, when I take them, they turn me into the zombie queen. (A zombie queen who should just maybe, refrain from writing… ah well!) Anyhoo, the Sudafed I usually get doesn’t usually zombie me out too badly, just a touch, but, my husband accidentally picked up the wrong one. The reason he didn’t notice that it was the wrong one is that it only has two little, bitty letters added onto the end of it. And let me tell you - them’s some STRONG little, bitty letters. Meet the ‘Blog-Posting Zombie Queen’! Yikes! This stinks.

And yet, when the rotten, creepo, street chemists tinker with this stuff, they turn it into UPPERS. Maybe I should be buying it from them, you know?

No drivers license checks, no forms to fill out, no signatures needed - and I get enough energy plus some, to clean the house, or run and play at the park with the kids!

Or maybe the ‘real chemists’ could take classes from the ’street chemists’. I mean,think of it - the pharmacists are turning us all into zombified space cadets, and the street punks are turning out a bunch of super-charged, energized go-getters!

What’s wrong with this picture?