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We weren’t really in a tree, it was more like a stall. And we weren’t sitting - we were standing. And yes - I’m still in love with him. I’m still in love with Sylvester Stallone. And I’m quite sure he is in love with me. How do I know? Well - duh! He wanted to watch a movie with me last night! That’s a sure sign of true love, right?

We were at this strange place where people watch movies, but, instead of a whole bunch of people in one big theater - just one or two or three people go in a small stall to watch the movie of their choice. And yep, you guessed it - Sly came in my stall with me to watch a movie. I’m telling you - he’s madly in love. It’s a sure thing.

I wonder - is it wrong to be in love with a man who’s just eighteen days older than my own mother? Hm, I guess not. What’s that you say? He’s got a wife? Eh! Look, I’ve been in love with him for a very long time! I’d say since about 1976, when Rocky first came out. The true depth of my love didn’t really blossom until, I think, Rocky III. But look, by 1982, when First Blood came out - that was IT! I was so hooked, there was no turning back! Has she loved him that long? Huh? Has she?

The year 1982 was probably about the point my ‘Sly wall’ began. Yes, I had a ‘Sly wall’. One whole wall in my bedroom covered with my main man. My dad used to like to tease me - I wouldn’t be surprised if the words ‘half pint’ showed up here in my comments! :P Yes, Daddy took on the issue of Sly’s height. Look, I can deal with it - it’s fine. He’s taller than I, isn’t he? That’s just perfect.

Ok, look how cute he is! You know that wife chick of his - well, they have three precious baby girls together. And they all have the middle name ‘Rose’. Very sweet! Anyway, he is concerned about their being able to protect themselves, and he’s teaching them all to box, and he says…

“I’m so worried about the guys coming up to them that I would love them to be able to smack a guy right off a bar stool. I would feel very confident in them going out at night if they could take all the guys in the neighborhood.”

*Swoooooon* I love him! I wish he’d come teach Sammie! Heck - I wish he’d come teach me! I’ve always wanted to be a strong, tough bitch. Some people might say I already am…but, really - I’ve only broken one of Mark’s bones. Just one. That’s nothing.