My maternal grandmother was one of my dearest friends and one of my biggest fans. She was just the coolest. It was funny, because, we were so different, but, no matter what - she loved me fiercely. No matter what whacked out, goofy ideas I came up with - she loved me. Her acceptance of me was incredible. This is hard to write. I’ve been missing her like crazy lately. It’s not just that it’s been Christmas, because, every holiday season that she’s been gone hasn’t been like this. She did visit me in a dream lately and it was so intense. She was hugging me and she just would not let go. (There’s no crying in blogging, Lisa!) Yeah, ok - pulling myself together, really - I am. I’m cool.

369-6765 That was the first phone number I ever memorized, and the first phone number I ever called by myself. 369-6765 That number will be in my head (no crying!) forever.

I keep ‘pieces of Grandmamom’ all around me at all times, often even wearing her watch. Everywhere I look in my house, there is a part of Clare Mae. In my kitchen, I have her beautiful milk glass lamp. Isn’t it pretty? (I know, a lot of people really detest these - I don’t care.)

One of my favorite things of hers that I have is her train case. Such a lovely reminder of a different time, you know? I always think it’s a Samsonite, but, it’s an American Tourister. Isn’t it so pretty?

And you know what’s super cool? I just discovered, that, apparently - train cases are coming back in fashion! A girlfriend and I went into a little boutique here in town, and they had the cutest modern, but old-fashioned, train cases! It was really cool - it was the perfect mix of old and new. And I absolutely love that they are coming back in style!

Gawd, I miss her, though! Sometimes it feels as if she died this morning, it hurts so bad. She passed away, though, on December 9, 1996. Three weeks after my daughter, Sammie Clare Mae, was born.

I just can’t wait to get to Heaven so I can hug her again. I love life, I love being alive, but, I am so looking forward to seeing her again!

(And I’m not crying! I swear! There’s no crying in blogging!)